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Money Matters: Why Couples Should Talk About Finances Early in the Relationship

Financial difficulties and tensions are often cited as major contributors to relationship difficulties and divorces.[0] Disagreements about money are not unusual between couples, and the thought of discussing family finances can be a source of stress and anxiety.[1] Money can be a touchy subject — even with your spouse — but there are valid reasons why couples don’t like to talk about money.[2]

GOBankingRates conducted a survey which revealed that approximately 19% of individuals aged 18 and above in the US reported that they occasionally experience conflict with their significant other regarding finances, while 13% stated they often do.[3] Elizabeth, a licensed marriage and family therapist, says conversations about money are rooted in deeper fears and anxieties, often originating from watching our parents deal with money in our childhood.[4]

How can one begin a potentially difficult conversation?[5] No matter what stage of the relationship you’re in, here are some tips for having the “money talk”[5]

Young couples should open up and have honest conversations about their financial position, goals, mindset, and future plans.[6] Engaging in dialogue about financial matters can be useful for making better decisions and creating a plan for reaching financial aspirations with or without having to sacrifice individual lifestyles or ambitions.[6]

Regularly discussing finances is something that millennials are more likely to do with their partner, according to the survey.[7] In comparison, couples from Generation X are twice as likely to avoid conversations about finances with their partner as opposed to other generations.[7]

Discussing finances is often uncomfortable, but it is important to bring it up early in a relationship. If you wait until a problem arises, it may cause financial tension and damage your relationship.[2]

A joint bank account can be useful for shared expenses, such as rent or mortgage payments, utilities, and groceries.[8] Here are five financial red flags to beware of in a partner:[9]

Hiding debt or not being honest about the extent of their assets;[9]

Failing to talk about the future of the relationship and financial goals;

Not having individual insurance coverage;

Not having an emergency fund;

Not being able to talk about money openly and honestly.[1]

Financial wellness app Stackin offers personalized plans based on an individual’s core money beliefs, helping people reach their goals through a coach-based and supportive digital experience.[3]

0. “Fighting With Your Partner About Money: 5 Ways to Lower the Tension” News-Daily.com, 7 Feb. 2023, https://www.news-daily.com/arena/fighting-with-your-partner-about-money-5-ways-to-lower-the-tension/article_f3f8f39b-6992-596d-8ac0-7621bf77e732.html

1. “Top 3 money problems for couples — and how to fix them” The Province, 13 Feb. 2023, https://theprovince.com/opinion/columnists/top-3-money-problems-couples-fix

2. “Love shouldn’t send money sense flying out the window” Moneyweb, 13 Feb. 2023, https://www.moneyweb.co.za/mymoney/moneyweb-personal-finance/love-shouldnt-send-money-sense-flying-out-the-window/

3. “We Don’t Talk About Money – Couples Admit Cash Comes Between Them in New Survey” Benzinga, 7 Feb. 2023, https://www.benzinga.com/pressreleases/23/02/n30761892/we-dont-talk-about-money-couples-admit-cash-comes-between-them-in-new-survey

4. “How Couples Can Fight Fairly About Money” HerMoney, 8 Feb. 2023, https://hermoney.com/connect/love/how-couples-can-fight-fairly-about-money-podcast-357/

5. “Most couples are ‘financially incompatible,’ survey finds. Having a money talk could help — no matter how long you’ve been together” CNBC, 14 Feb. 2023, https://www.cnbc.com/2023/02/14/most-couples-financially-incompatible-having-a-money-talk-could-help.html

6. “5 Steps For Young Couples To Begin Building A Strong Financial Life Together This Valentine’s Day” Indiatimes.com, 14 Feb. 2023, https://www.indiatimes.com/worth/news/financial-tips-for-young-couples-on-valentines-day-593079.html

7. “Valentine’s Day and finances: Here’s how couples approach discussing money” Fox Business, 10 Feb. 2023, https://www.foxbusiness.com/personal-finance/valentines-day-couples-discuss-personal-finance

8. “Valentine’s Day: How newly-married couples can start talking money, together” Moneycontrol, 14 Feb. 2023, https://www.moneycontrol.com/news/business/personal-finance/valentines-day-how-newly-married-couples-should-make-a-financial-plan-10072941.html

9. “Valentine’s Day: These are the top financial red flags in a romantic partner” CBS News, 14 Feb. 2023, https://www.cbsnews.com/news/valentines-day-2023-financial-red-flags-in-a-romantic-partner

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